Aelred of Rievaulx on Spiritual Friendship
May 1, 2008 by Abdur Rahman
Peace, one and all…
During the recent Christian-Muslim Forum conference, I was introduced for the first time to the thought of Aelred_of_Rievaulx, a 12th century monk. It seems that Aelred had much to say on the topic of spiritual friendship. As his words struck a chord, I wanted to share them with the wider world:
‘The truest kind of friendship is what we call spiritual friendship. We should desire it for its own intrinsic worth and for the way it reaches into the human heart, rather than for any external reason or because it might bring any worldly advantage.
The spiritual friendship that exists between people of integrity springs out of their common attitude to life, their shared moral outlook and the kind of activities they engage in - in other words, it consists of mutual agreement in matters human and divine, combined with goodwill and practical loving concern.’
(De Spiritu Amicitia)
Ma’as salama,
Abdur Rahman
Such spiritual friendship is an excellent example of what is found in the circle of the Friends. Alhamdulillah!
Ya Haqq!
Peace to you too, dear Abdur Rahman, on this holy day -
I’ve been away from your blog for too long, allowing too many distractions and pressures to build up… I always feel reorientated though when I come back here. That Christian/Muslim conference sounds inspiring (I’ve just visited their site). How vital it is to have open and respectful dialogue between these two great religions! There’s so much in common spiritually, despite external differences. My former Catholic faith, for example, helps me appreciate aspects of Sufism…
On the topic of spiritual friendship: I sent a message to your personal email address some days ago because I wanted to see if we could arrange a meeting. My daughter has been with me this week before setting off for a visit to Morocco early next week, and she’s keen to meet you too. We were wondering if you might be free either this evening or sometime tomorrow (Saturday)? It’s short notice now for this evening, but might tomorrow be any good? Sunday we have a family get-together at my brother’s. But if tomorrow’s not possible, we can try again after Brigid returns from her trip in a month or so.
Tomorrow evening inshallah I’m going with her to a women’s spiritual evening at her local mosque in Cardiff! I feel quite excited and a little nervous too. I’ve never been to a mosque before - feels like a step across an important threshold…
Bless you and i hope to hear from you soon,
Sister Seeker
Salaams Sister Seeker,
I have just e-mailed you…
Abdur Rahman
How true the words of Aelred are, Abdur Rahman, and thank you for quoting them. Almost a week ago, I returned from the International Baha’i Convention in Haifa. Delegates came from every part of the planet and there were wonderful opportunities to discover and resdiscover these spiritual friendships.
Spiritual friendships also transcend differences of the particular religions - and I am always thankful to God that I am privileged to have spiritual friendships with people of many different faiths (and of no particular faith).
Peace Barney,
I recognised them as true as soon as I read them. I hope that the Convention was all that you wanted it to be.
God bless you and yours always
Abdur Rahman