Peace, one and all…
Selfless compassionate service to others is not an easy thing to do. The daily business of life and other such matters, intrude, forcing their way into our attention and muddying the waters of our motivations. Upon reflection, this is one reason why God offers many of us the joyous burden of parenthood.
As a parent, it is my duty to provide for and support my children, to serve them. In raising our three children, my wife and I must put our own desires and wishes to one side, as we struggle to help them grow towards adulthood. We must struggle to put our children first; their physical needs must come before ours; their emotional needs must come before ours; their spiritual needs must come before ours. In short, our children are our masters, and we are both happy that it should be so.
If our children are our masters, then they are also our teachers (which is why I can relate to our worthy brother Yakoub’s description of his son as his Shaykh). Our children teach us to be patient, to be forgiving, to be merciful. Our children teach us to focus upon what is most essential. Our children teach us to be always loving (or as loving as we can be).
These qualities, which we struggle to embody, are also deeply spiritual. Compassion, mercy, service and selfless love are all essential aspects of a fully human being, and of a healthy relationship with God (the Blessed and Exalted). This is why I find being a father so profound, and so inspiring. It is why I am happy to be a servant to my three beautiful children (and to my wife of course, but that’s another story…)
Ma’as salama,
Abdur Rahman
December 19, 2007 at 5:16 pm
I shed a little tear reading this, as these ideas are so dear to my heart. Oh the treasure and gift of a child! And oh, the great lessons in selflessness, patience, love and endurance. A grandmother now, I still look at my adult children and weep inside with gratitude.
Salaams, Brother.
December 19, 2007 at 9:32 pm
Beautiful Post Brother Abdur Rahman…specially enjoyed the last line
December 20, 2007 at 2:27 am
What a touching beautiful and oh so true post, Dear Abdur Bhai
Our Master says that to be married is half of the great teaching on the path, and to raise children is the other half, for all the reasons you stated so well 
Eid Mubarak! May Allah bless you and your wife and your three children and all your family with ever growing love and mercy and compassion and wisdom and remembrance of Hu! Ameen.
Ya Haqq!
December 20, 2007 at 10:22 am
Salaams Patricia,
Children are indeed a treasure and a blessing, though we don’t always appreciate it at 4am!
Abdur Rahman
December 20, 2007 at 10:23 am
Salaams Dipti,
Thank you! I am happy to be my wife’s servant too.
Abdur Rahman
December 20, 2007 at 10:24 am
Salaams Irving bhai
Jazak Allah for your kind thoughts and amin to your dua.
Allahumma salli ala Sayyidina Muhammad
Abdur Rahman
December 20, 2007 at 10:54 am
Respected Brother Abdur,
My humble salaam and warm greetings for you:) What a touching post full of truth!
Wishing you, your three little angels and your beloved wife a very happy Eid Mubarak!!
May Allah bless you all with endless Love and Happiness..My heartfelt prayers for you dear brother, a perfect father and a perfect husband!
Love and smiles: ))
( p.s i hope you got my mail dtd. 5th dec, pls let me know if you didnt dear)
December 20, 2007 at 11:06 am
Peace Krishna
Thank you for your kind thoughts. Amin to your prayer. Eid Mubarak to you too.
I have to admit, though, that I am not a perfect father nor husband (ask my wife)!
God bless you always
Abdur Rahman
PS – I’m not currently at home, so I’ve not been checking my e-mail